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Bill and Jordon’s Excellent Adventure Already Unraveling

Bill Belichick’s humiliating college football debut on Monday night has led to a new level of mockery for the legendary coach.

Bob Donnan-Imagn Images

Mockery of Bill Belichick’s Monday night flop has been brutal, and shows no sign of letting up. 

With Chapel Bill’s UNC getting curb-stomped 48-14 by TCU, Belichick’s humiliating college football debut on ESPN is drawing some of the worst critical reviews since LeBron James’s The Decision or ABC’s Cop Rock

The night began with such promise. Arguably the greatest coach in NFL history—with six Super Bowl trophies—made his long-awaited college football debut with UNC luminaries Michael Jordan, Lawrence Taylor, and Roy Williams looking on. Belichick’s Tar Heels offense went right down the field for a 7-0 lead. Then the proverbial roof caved in. 

TCU took complete control, reeling off 41 unanswered points. When Kevorian Barnes of the Horned Frogs raced downfield for a 75-yard TD on the first snap of the second half, ESPN’s Damien Woody said he turned off his TV: “I knew it was night-night, Chapel Bill.” And the ridicule of the 73-year-old coach—and his 24-year-old girlfriend/manager Jordon Hudson—began in earnest.

On X/Twitter, Jason Whitlock asked whether Hudson was entering the “transfer portal” after the debacle. Richard Deitsch of The Athletic noted the whole night was “such a disaster” that it should have starred Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, and Faye Dunaway from The Towering Inferno. The NFL Memes Twitter account tweeted to its 1.5 million followers: “Bill Belichick’s girlfriend Jordon Hudson has left the UNC game at halftime in order to make it home for bedtime.” And what was Hudson doing talking to Belichick on the sidelines, asked multiple Twitter critics? As Sports Illustrated’s Pat Forde asked on Twitter: “Not sure what the Vegas odds were on a Jordon pregame sideline sighting, but if you bet it, cash your ticket.”

The only team that had a better night than TCU was the school’s whip-smart social media squad, cracked ESPN’s Mike Greenberg, who bodied their counterparts in Chapel Hill all night long. When UNC Football touted the program’s upcoming reality show on Hulu, TCU deadpanned: “When does episode one come out?” Belichick shouldn’t shoulder all the blame for a roster that underwent massive changes. The problem was the massive media hype heading into the telecast. 

This was touted as a coronation, not a humiliation. When the Tar Heels were trounced, even the cheerful balloons surrounding Belichick’s post-game podium came in for withering criticism. On Twitter, Tom Pelissero of NFL Network described it as the “tackiest postgame press conference setup in football history.”

What happens next? As the ACC’s primary rights holder, ESPN is poised for a TV ratings windfall this fall, possibly televising 8 to 10 of UNC’s 12 regular-season games. But they need to win. If their season tanks, a Deion Sanders–esque TV bonanza could never materialize. But never fear. There are still millions of football fans whose teams, particularly in the AFC, were humiliated by Belichick and Tom Brady’s Patriots for years. They might hate-watch UNC games just to see the arrogant Hoodie humbled.

The silver lining for Belichick? He’s not the only one who was embarrassed during college football’s opening weekend. On ESPN’s First Take, Stephen A. Smith and Rich Eisen debated who had a worse weekend: Belichick, losing Texas quarterback Arch Manning, or former juggernaut Alabama, which fell 31-17 to Florida State. Smith noted a struggling UNC wasn’t able to complete a pass for over two hours of TV time. 

“I don’t give a damn how outmatched you are on a football field. It doesn’t explain that kind of ineptitude,” said Smith. 

Hard to argue with the man.

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